"the college experience"

Every time I talk to adults about my studying abroad in the UK, they always ask something along the lines of, "So where do you think education is better, here or the US?" To which I always want to respond with, "Well, I'm here aren't I?" but rather choose to go with, "Well, I wouldn't know." Because I don't know. I've never gone to college in the States so what do I have to compare to?

Expectations, that's what. It's hard to explain what I mean by 'the college experience.' It's just all the experiences and adventures and learning and living that I imagine characterizes your uni years. Walking across campus late at night just for kicks. The establishment of a Human vs Zombies game. Sitting out in the quad, the common room, the lounge, anywhere where all the students were at. Roaming the quaint streets of a college town. Always having something new and interesting to attend, a night out, a film showing, a cultural event, an art show, a constant feeling of being alive and new and part of it all. I don't know what 'it' is but that's part of my problem, I think. That I don't have 'it' to be part of. Maybe I've not been looking in the right places. Or maybe I'm just not looking enough, or at all. 

There's just those inherent expectations of what university is going to be like and I feel like I'm still waiting for those expectations to realize themselves but I can't imagine how long it's going to take. Or maybe I need to get up off my ass and do something instead of sit back and wait. But what do I do? I don't want my college years to be filled a constant pressure of the fear that I'll never get into grad school, I'll never be hired, this is all worthless. I want them to be some of the best years of my life. But I won't know if they are until I'm way past now and I think that bothers me most, that I can't trust in the unknown. 

I wish my brain would shut up about these things and just let it go.