As far as dates go, I was set. Anisah and Becca and I were going as a trio, Anisah being our female James Bond and we being her Bond girls.
The night began innocently enough with a posh champagne reception on the patio outside. After waiting ages as the sun set and it started getting ridiculously chilly outside, we were finally let in for dinner, where all the fun starts.
We were lucky (and by lucky, I mean horrendously unfortunate) to be sitting at the High Table, directly across the Warden of Slems Hall, a very awkward man to say the least. Slightly intimidating only because you had no idea what he was thinking or what he thought of you or why he had that funny look on his face. Add on the fact that this dinner was so incredibly "high class" that we had about 7 forks, 9 spoons, and 3 knives. Not really, but you get what I mean. So on our side, it was a mess of 'which fork?!' 'START OUTSIDE THEN IN OUTSIDE IN' and actually cutting up our salads. Salads. We were slicing lettuce and already sliced cucumbers and tomatoes into even smaller bits. Who does that? Then, just to make things a little more exciting, they slapped on a giant LEG OF LAMB. A WHOLE LEG OF LAMB as the main meal. Still on the bone and everything. And they expected us to consume this leg of lamb using utensils like civilized human beings. I think the extreme look of concentration and determination on my face explained it all. While we all struggled and pulled and forked and tore at our leg of lambs, the Warden calmly sliced through his and his girlfriend's as calm and clean as he could be. He shamed us. So you can imagine how the majority of this meal went -- us staring in horror at the challenges set for us, commenting on said challenges, whispering and giggling like silly little girls (this was mainly Anisah's job) and talking just a tad too loudly about the people around us who could clearly hear us (namely, the Warden, who Anisah kept calling the Don).
The 'Don' also continuously asked us if we wanted some wine all night long and we continuously kindly denied. Eventually, he commented on how odd it was that the adults were drinking more than the students so I tried to ease the harshness of his rejection by saying that Anisah and I didn't drink.
Him: At all?
Us: At all.
Him: *quickly scurries to find a non-alcoholic drink he could serve us*
I really think he just wanted to pour us something to drink. Later on, after we'd given up on our lamb legs, dessert arrived in the form of a berry cheesecake and cream. Anisah took the cream first and struggled with it a bit as she poured it on her slice and then handed it to me. I struggled more. I swear that jug was not meant to be poured. It spewed all over my plate as I gah'd and uprighted it so it wouldn't spill all over the table. I passed it to the Warden who again very calmly and cleanly poured cream all over his and his girlfriend's slices. (I don't know why his girlfriend can't do anything for herself.) After watching him do so, I gave him a small clap and said, 'Wow, I applaud your creaming technique.' Yeah, I actually said & did that. He kind of just looked at me, with a funny smile on his face, in wonder that I had said such a thing . I turned to Anisah. 'Did he hear me? Why is he looking at me like that? I don't think he heard me.' To which he responded, 'It's all in the wrist.'
Yeah.
Afterwards came a small magic show and the Ball bit with the dancing and the band and the musicing, which was fun and dandy and just like any old high school dance, really. There was a techno-ish band that was playing (one of their members is one of the other American girls at Gabs) and Anisah and I kept plotting to go up and mob the lead singer who was beautiful and a boy. It kind of went like this:
Me: Let's go eat him.
Anisah: Okay.
*grabs me, we run two feet*
Us: WOOOOookay we're there.
Just as things started getting a little, er, not nice (ie de-pantsed and abhorrently drunken), we set off to go home.
Just was we turned the corner out of Slems, we saw a gang of young guys turning the corner up ahead. We slowed down, obviously replaying in our minds the warnings of walking home late at night and gangs of guys and dark roads. So Anisah decides this would be a good time to turn around and scamper off in her massive heels. So I ran after her and left Becca and Reagan to fend for themselves. We got back to Slems and stood around, planning to either call a cab or grab some guys to walk with us. We were in the midst of this worrying dilemma when the gang of guys suddenly showed up ... walking into Slems ... where they live.
At least we know we could outrun them in heels if we so needed to. Off we went, back to Gabs, Anisah with one bare foot as she got a cramp halfway through the trek, and to sleep. After recounting all our crazy stories to those who had sadly missed out, of course.
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