i feel like it's been a while

Finally. Easter break, how I've craved you since January.

It's been a tumultuous semester. No time to breathe, think, read, rest, stay put even for a moment. And last week just took the cake for worst weeks ever. Thankfully, in its rushing, it rushed head-on into a holiday and here I am, nonchalantly typing away, reading not one but TWO books, getting ready to settle in and watch 'An Education.' It's not like everything's suddenly good again -- my life is still subdued -- but it's so much easier to sort it all out when I have absolutely nothing cramming itself into my head.

I feel like the Universe pressed the restart button today and with that ta-da! welcome tone, I got out of bed with the last 8 weeks seemingly a vague memory. They haven't been, obviously. I'm still smarting from some of the hits, still being dragged down by others but at least I'm standing, right?

I finished my dissertation! Eight whole pages on the olfactory learning and memory mechanisms of mammals and fruit flies and how this contributes to the formation of odour-evoked autobiographical memories. I am now a self-certified expert; ask me anything.

In all this mad rush, I never had the time to be excited about some things. Like this thing I've been avoiding talking about because it was gonna work out, then it wasn't, then it really was, then it might not have, then it definitely wasn't, and then within 48 hours, it heck of was. And I didn't want to get my hopes up by setting it into concrete words before I had official proof. Proof that I'm going to Rome, Italy next week with a friend to stay with a mutual friend and spend 5 days (wait for it) roaming the ancient city. It still seems a hazy potential even though I've booked tickets and unless something really horrible happens in the next week, I'm definitely going. What.

In other news, I just got back from London which was, as always, beautiful and perfect. And my cousin, who was a bit ill this weekend, felt bad that we didn't do anything special together which is fine by me but she wanted to make my stay a bit more holiday-ish. So she invited me back after my return from Italy, since I'll be arriving in London and can just hop a train back to her place. She says we'll have to celebrate my birthday (the big two oh) then. I love family.

I got to see my dad in London too, even more wonderful, since I saw him last for 3 days in december and before that in september. and the next in june for a couple weeks. This move is taking its toll. Hhhhh.

currently reading: into the wild by jon krakauer, the calligrapher's daughter by eugenia kim

currently listening: this mix, get shaky by the ian carey project

screw the week, i need this whole year to be over.

I don't even want everything to be going right or anything good to happen -- I just need everything to stop going so wrong.

OH MY GOD.

You know that random reference I made about being a phoenix rising from the ashes or something like that? But I cut myself off because I was being delusional? You probably don't since you don't keep tabs on every word I ever post or remember such inconsequential details about my life BUT OH MY GOD.

I am watching episode 14, season 3 of 30 Rock and Liz Lemon just acted out that sentence, including the getting cut off part. I think it's a sign. I don't know what -- probably that 30 Rock is the greatest thing to have been placed in my awareness since forever and that we were meant to be and we didn't even know it and it's so nice to be united with such an obviously integral part of my existence.

PS This is me taking a break from lab reporting and dissertationing to eat my chinese takeout feast and enjoy some good times. ♥

on my mind:

1. Dissertationdissertationdissertation. 28 36 articles/books to read and take notes and turn into my own 9 page piece of coherence ... in a week.

2. Labreportlabreportlabreport. Which is 85% done bar the most important bits of which I understand and can conclude absolutely nothing, hence the leaving it to the end.

3. Sleepsleepsleep. Everything seems to be in a hurry these days, all except my ability to fall asleep which takes simply far too long.

4. Why is everything in a hurry these days? When did it turn into the last two weeks of term? What? Why?

5. Hi. I miss you all.

formspring.me

How do you define a home?

That is a concept I have been struggling with for the last half a year. So. I don't. I don't define home at all.

'Sup, Figgy?

my eyes are drooping

I cannot believe how busy I am this week. I can't wait till I can sleep on Friday night. But then I'll have to wake up Saturday bright and early to be productive and get work done and be a good person. And all that jazz.

I'm just warning you / informing you of my absence from the world over the next few weeks. I feel quite absent from a lot of things lately. Like I only exist in typed words on a page or a screen name or a Facebook post, kind of troddling (is that a word? I just made it up in my head to describe the feeling I imagine this to be) along whilst everyone else lives and I watch on, occasionally commenting but passed over. Woah, emo. So tired, please forgive.

In the middle of my lab assessment, I decided to restart my French education and teach myself French. So that was useful. À bientôt!