packing, endings, leaving & home / a year in review

I had 8 medium-sized cardboard boxes into which I was to pack my entire life away in about a day. It was the most depressing thing watching my room turn back into the bare empty dreary place I walked into last September. Even my friends couldn't bear to see the sad walls and shelves. My room was chaos. Everything was on the floor, pulled out of drawers, on my bed, on my desk. I threw all my clothes onto my bed and slept in Becca's sleeping bag curled up in a ball on the corner of my springy mattress. It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Eventually though, I did get everything packed away (in only seven boxes!), sent them away with the storage company, and got started on my suitcases. I was taking one super fat suitcase and one smaller duffel-y bag thing that my mom had given me in January stuffed with things I didn't exactly need or have anywhere to put. So I shoved both bags with stuff and filled my third suitcase with things I didn't need to bring back home with me. That suitcase is going home with Becca because she is so kind and sweet and will take care of my things, yaaay. Still, with all this stuff I was leaving behind, I'd still have to pay for my overweight bag at the airport. Oh, well. 

Becca also helped me move a giant dresser that my dad thought I'd need way back in September (I definitely asked for a two level shelf or something really small that could fit in a corner. Unfortunately, this giant dresser also fit in the corner). And a small desk hutch. And that extra mattress pad. I'm so high maintenance. So we moved everything to my new room which is a little bigger than my old room but at least it's above ground and has a proper window. I'll just have to rearrange some stuff to make it work. 

Throughout this, Becca and I also rekindled our obsessed with COOKING MAMA, the best Nintendo DS game ever. And we watched Notting Hill because Anisah'd never seen it. And we watched some cricket because it's fun and passes the time. 

Then came Wednesday morning and I was pretty much popping out my eyeballs in excitement. I called a cab for 8am and then sat around with my luggage in reception, waiting. Anisah, Becca and Sorina all came out to send me off and it was only then as I stood giving them hugs in a row that I realised this was the end. That there would be no more of all of us at Gabs just chillaxin maxin relaxin all cool. It was still hitting me as suddenly I felt like I was being pulled into the cab because there was nowhere else to go and nothing else to say except I love you and I'll miss you and goodbye. 

It happened again, you know? That whole things-are-ending-without-warning-now-DEAL. It's just harder to realise that most things in life end without ceremony, with no glittering graduation at the end that you can count down to and prepare for. It just happens and you deal. It kind of sucks ass and if the rest of life is like this, that sucks more ass.

Off I went to the little Manchester airport where I was charged for my overweight bag but fortunately was not asked too many questions like my mom had been interrogated in April: Why were you here? Where are you going? Who were you visiting? What does your daughter study? The guy was really nice and just said, 'So, you're going home, yeah?' and then asked me all the normal 'where have your bags been since you packed them?' and 'where did you pack them?'  and 'are you a terrorist hiding a WMD in your bags?' questions. 

Then off I went to have some breakfast and walk to my gate. When we boarded I was, as usual, hoping to be seated next to my future husband. Again, this was not the case. First, a really nice middle aged guy sat next to me and said hi and smiled only to realise he was in the wrong row and had to move up one. In his place, there was some not so nice angry looking reedy late middle aged British guy who just kept talking to his bffl across the aisle. He didn't even say hi to me. Whatever. 

I tried to sleep the whole way but couldn't get comfortable and therefore slept for what felt like ages but was really about 3 hours and then woke up and spent the next 3 hours listening to music and / or watching the Office and / or whatever other random shows they had playing on the teeny screen I could barely see. 

Then we arrived in Chicago and I switched to my American sim card to call my parents and learn that we now had unlimited texting so of course I mass texted a ton of people and just wasted the next 3 hours doing just that. Also, I started reading the Heroes graphic novel Becca got me for my birthday. The book is excellent and I love it. Two things I noticed in Chicago: a) EVERYTHING IS SO CHEAP HERE. b) people are no longer attractive as their accents loudly grate on my ears. It's so sad, but so true. Also, I was buying a bagel and the price said 2.69 and after I gave the woman a fiver, she handed back only two dollar bills. For a second I waited with my hand outstretched for my change when I realised, she wasn't giving me anymore and that I now had to remember to include ... TAX, dun dun duuuuun. It was actually a shocking and saddening experience I hope none of you ever have to go through. 

Next was the flight to Los Angeles (WOOOOOOO!) during which I was sat next to a very nice young couple who were playing Scrabble on an iPhone/iPod touch the entire time. I tried to sleep again but failed but I don't remember what I did to entertain myself. I'd put my Heroes book back in my backpack which I'd placed in the overhead compartment thing and I didn't want to bother anyone to get it out. But finally, finallllllllllly, I arrived in Los Angeles and couldn't stop smiling. I seriously couldn't. I was too excited. All my luggage arrived safely except I think my smaller bag got put on the earlier flight to LA and was therefore waiting for in a hidden corner rather than on the conveyor belt. And it was all fun and dandy when we reunited and my whole family came out to pick me up and then we took a family trip to Trader Joe's and then we went home and had dinner (oh, glorious homecooked food!) and then I went to bed. And woke up promptly at 7am. 

Surprisingly, I've still been waking up early, depending on when I go to sleep but I'm hoping that'll keep up so I can push myself to read all the books I want to read and do all the stuff I want to do and paint and whatever. I already went to the Galleria to stop by the new LUSH and bought me some bath bombs and had a loverly bath. The guys who work at Lush are so unbelievably camp it's .. unbelievable. I swear the guy helping me had a mustache glued on.

Otherwise, things at home are slow but fine. I've seen some friends and hope to see more soon, caught up with the ones that aren't in CA but were still hard to keep in contact with while in the UK. I've continued to watch Arrested Development, ordered way too many books and plan to start reading them asap. We got a giant new tv and wonder how the hell we ever watched anything on our old tv just because when we had them sat next to each other, the size difference was ridiculous. I've got a tonnnnnnn more music from my brother, mainly electronic stuff that seems to be sweeping the nation for some reason (deadmau5, Girl Talk, Little People, etc). Oh and some Rage Against the Machine and Kanye because my brother thinks that because I bought 808s that I don't appreciate Kanye's older stuff. And some Hieroglyphics, Blue Scholars, Beastie Boys, Ratatat, and Daft Punk. I miss my brother. He left on Sunday to go back to Irvine because he's got summer school. On the way we bought him a new car. Check him ouuuuut. 

Otherwise, I think I'm out for the summer. I'll pop in every so often to detail some adventures and update the reading list and musicness (Paolo Nutini's "These Streets") and rant about how much I hate driving and how my dad is forcing me to get a license but otherwise, I'll see you in September.

Oh, one last note on Manchester and my happiness. It got to a point of indifference. I got to know a bit more of the city, like the Northern Quarter where all the cool shops are but it's always empty around there. And the pretty area, Deansgate, where all the high-end shops are and multimillion pound flats are. But the campus (what campus?) still is just ... whatever. Which is where I think I'm at now. I just hope I'm excited to go back when it comes time because right now you would have to drag me to hell and back to get me on a plane to Manchester. I still hate that the campus isn't a campus and that the city isn't much of a city. Schooling was just alright, hopefully grades won't be too bad. Life was just okay, but I love my friends and they were the best things for me there and while nothing's perfect, I'll deal, for now. See ya.